Hell Week

Dear fans,

It’s finally February. The most important month of your lives. This is the month when you get to see the greatest band of all time put on the greatest performance of all time, and you only have to wait 5 more days.

Some of you have probably been asking yourselves for the past week why Three Happenin Guys haven’t written or called. A few of you might have even entertained the thought that THG were getting lazy; That we no longer had the energy to bombard you with promos on a daily basis. If you are one of these people, SHAME ON YOU! Our week-long cutoff of promotional messages was a test; a test given to divine who our truly faithful fans are; a test designed to separate the wheat (those of you who went door-to-door Three Happenin Guys caroling every day last week while patiently awaiting THG’s next communication) from the chaff (those of you who wanted to give THG the shaft).

We know where your loyalty lies.

Our reasons for administering this test of faith are two-fold (and before you even THINK about complaining of unfair treatment, just be thankful we didn’t test you like we did Job. We didn’t murder any of your children, your livestock are still alive, and you still have slaves).

Reason #1: There is no room for non-hardcore fans at our show on Feb 6th. Only the truest of the true are welcome to witness what is already being called by historians worldwide as “THE MOST INCREDIBLE MUSIC SPECTACULAR SEEN BY MANKIND(!!!)”.

Reason #2: Three Happenin Guys have more important things to do than nonstop 24-hour promotions. We are a band, not an ad agency. Last week while you were crying in your beer about not getting any new emails or videos from the band, Three Happenin Guys practiced our set for the show 273 times, built a laser light show out of Pepsi cans and AAA batteries, and recorded 2 full-length albums only to be released in the Republic of Qatar.

So stop your moaning. All week we received nothing but sob stories about how you felt neglected and forgotten. Well be careful what you wish for fans, because from this point on to the night of the show you are going to get hit with so many messages and emails that we can’t be sure whether you will vomit first or soil yourself. The only thing we are certain of is that you will eventually do both.

It’s time for Hell Week.

Yours forever,

THG